Smell The Glove – Arcade Belts
Belts To Give You A High Score In Life
By Mike Rogge
There are clashes in ski culture on certain issues that make the Elephants and Donkeys of the US Government look like petty school children. From the thuggiest of middle-class, suburban jibbers to the dirt baggiest of mountain town scum, skiers care about style. When it comes to that all-mighty swag, where winter men and women wear their pants remains a contested issue for two plankers everywhere. Enter Arcade, the friendly middleman to help you keep ‘em high or (shorty) get low, low, low, low, low, low, low, loooow. Copyright: Apple bottom jeans and T-Pain.
“But Rogge, my friend, how can a belt make your life easier? It’s just a belt.”
Yes, friend, it is a belt but it’s so much more. For those that frequent the lazy side of tracks, rejoice that Arcade Belts are washable. That means I can keep one belt on each pair of pants I own (3-4*) and toss them right in the wash. No need to unthread and rethread through those tiny belt loops. I’ve washed one of my belts over 20 times and it’s still as shiny and new as the day I got it. The only difference between day one and day 100? Today it smells like fresh linen with a hint of Spring. Hey, is that a blue bird chirping and blooming flowers? No, it’s my Bounty-fresh belt.
When it comes to airport security, no longer do I take my belt off to walk through the metal detector/invasive whirl machine that takes naked pictures of me. Arcade Belts are made of a stretchy material, durable plastic, and Good Times. Take the sneaks off, pop the laptop in the bin, and walk through security, pants comfortably where they need to be, while you smile at TSA. Toss a thumbs up in for good measure. Terrorists don’t throw the thumb up. Arcadians do.
And because Arcade’s belts have no trace of leather in or on them, you can rest assured that no cows were killed to make the belt. That means cows can keep doing what they do best: making milk and representing the good state of Vermont. From the Urkel down to the knees, Arcade puts you comfortably in the high score position of life.
*Figure does not include Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pajamas.
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