Take this Job and…Deal with It

So you've decided to live in a ski town, good for you. What are you going to do for work? If you're a trustfunder, work is merely an inconsequential annoyance, so have a fun winter. If you're like me and the rest of the commoners, chances are you have bills to pay or pestering things called student loans. Perhaps you're still making payments on a '95 shit box Subaru... Alas, the inevitable dilemma arises: How will you make enough money to pay your bills and still have enough time to ski? Well, you're not. The truth is that in dedicating yourself to a lifestyle of glorified poverty, your payment comes in the form of being in the position to appreciate big dumps, not big bank accounts. Welcome to the ski town job market.

Here is a list of ski bum jobs, the good and the bad. Choose whichever you wish and make sure you save up for mud season.

1. You can turn chairs. (aka: chair bumber; liftie)

The good: You get a free ski pass, a savings of roughly $1,200 depending on where you live; first tracks; and you can ski during breaks and otherwise spend all day in the snow.

The bad: Spending all day in the snow sucks. You have to get up at 5 a.m. when it's black and cold only to deal with tourists falling all over the place, constantly starting and stopping the chair for them. Some even fall off the chair… And chances are you'll be working for Ski Corp. (read: a big corporate company that doesn't give a shit about you or your cold toes.

2. Be a shop boy.

The good: You get discounts, pro forms, and all the free stickers you can handle. Plus, you get to bro down with all the reps. And, if you're lucky you can work split shifts where you can ski between the hours of noon to 3.

The bad: People seem to have intelligent questions, and they want you to answer them. Questions such as: "Where do they put the moguls at night?" and "Do you guys rent snow tubes?" or "Did I rent my skis here?" And, chances are you'll be working for Ski Corp.

3. You can be a van driver.

The good: This is one of the easiest jobs in the world. All you have to do is drive people around all day long. The money is fair and the stress level is low. If you get fired, it's your duty to whip that V-10 in the back parking lot in the sweetest donuts anyone has ever seen, which, all things being equal, makes getting fired worth it.

The bad: Occasionally, vans get stuck in the snow. More frequently, however, gaggles of gapers try waving you down and some even jump in front of the van. It's the same when you stop the van in front of a stop sign near a bus stop. Tourists react to any and all vans and buses, believing the one you're driving belongs to the resort they're staying in. So they storm your van with no regard. Then you have to kick them out and fully explain how each resort has its own shuttle service.