Drugged Monkey 11

A woman and a sponge inside an Arbys in Anytown, USA.

She was in her late 30's. She was thin, freckled, and without confidence. As I sat there eating my fries I thought about her. I thought about her life. It wasn't sexual or anything like that. She wiped off the tables and carried the trays back to be washed. The town couldn't have had more than 5,000 people in it. I'm sure her entire life was spent in this small town. I took my time and watched her. I don't think she ever lifted her head once. She couldn't have made eye contact with anything other than a mouse. I pictured the local teenagers stopping by for lunch. I pictured them intentionally leaving messes for her. I imagine in high school her encounters with the “cool kids” probably didn't go well either. I wonder what caused those eyes to stay fixed on the floor. I hoped one day they would look up. She was afraid of people.

In your late 30s and washing tables in an Arbys!? If I hadn't just pulled off the freeway and planned on spending time in the town I might've followed her home. Her parent's house may have been the destination. Maybe she'd stop off for a celebrity magazine or a lottery ticket? I've never been a fan of either, but if she were to buy a lottery ticket or celebrity magazine I would take that as indication that she had dreams. She had an escape. Maybe she was happy outside of Arby's walls? Maybe she was happier than I? This caste system of beauty that builds or destroys lives from such an early age always got me down. Kids picking on kids based on appearance or clothes. Things they really can't control. Things that shouldn't matter. I finished up my meal and walked out to the car. I looked around the small town before opening the door and climbing inside. This is where I was from. I headed back towards the freeway with a heavy heart. I doubt she knows that anybody would notice her. That they would worry for her. I decided to leave my memory of her at the counter of a gas station with a lottery ticket in hand.

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